What's behind SuiPrincess: Things I just have to tell you

Hello my readers,

Today’s post is quite important for me to do, because I want to make some things clear which are really meaningful to me. I started to write this post, scrapped it and started again and deleted it once more.There were a few conventions lately and it has become quite warm even here in Germany. I was wearing Lolita and people started noticing the scratches on my arm again. I went to conventions in the past, but since my blog is getting bigger, more and more people recognize me and I don’t want to make those people to feel uncomfortable while talking to me because they don’t know where to look.

Also some readers took pictures of me on conventions and didn't know whether to publish them or not.


It is my honest entry and it was very hard to write about my problems – so please be respectful about this topic. I'm not writing this to get attention or pity with this post. I only want to show that not everything is as easy as it seems. Life is not always “sunny side up” and I think a lot of people had to suffer in their life and understand me.
Talking like this, you can imagine that not everything in my life was always princess-like.

You might remeber this Secret a while ago from G_S.
Yes it is true that there was a time in my life which I´m not proud of, but it's still a part of me and finally I have found a way to handle and live with it. You can't change your past, but you can change your future.
Even though I am not going to hide my scratches anymore, I am still going to retouch them on pictures – double standard? Well I think it’s just not really beautiful to see in pictures.
I am not going to write details about what really happened in my past because it is not necessary to know. My boyfriend, family and friends helped me to work on it and I am very grateful to them that they always took care of me

I started my blog as a small diary in 2010 in which I wanted to post about the positive things in my life because I only saw the negative aspects in my life: I thought I didn´t have a perfect body, maybe no real friends, an ugly face without makeup and so on.

Now I´ve become strong enough to write this. I can´t deny what happened. So I stay true to myself and what I am. I don´t want to hide my scratches anymore because I think this is not really conducive for me and my health.
Finding my own style in hime gyaru fashion and to share a lot of my private things in this blog, to see how it is growing and to meet a lot of people who are supporting me and my style helped me a lot to stay true to myself.
On the other side I still want to say something about the G_S community. Watching and being part of this public coursing make me feel embarrassed on the one side and sad on the other side. I mean is it so funny to offend people you have probably never talked to or never even met? I think it is a matter of the upbringing and I am sure a lot of parents would be so disappointed, if they could see how their daughters pillory girls who might also have a lot of problems with their mental health – maybe because they think they are overweight or ugly – and you bring up such problems again. Just think about how much you are hurting people when telling them again and again how ugly and fat they are – or do you really want to be to blame when those girls might end up with even bigger self-doubt and health problems?
For myself I can’t imagine even one person I have ever met or further friends who hurt me, whom I wish to end up in desperation – what could easily happen thanks to G_S! (remember, here is a victim talking..)
All in all, to solve my problems and to find a way to live with some of them, brought me through therapy, self-doubts and a lot of setbacks.
When I was at the beginning of my therapy I didn´t leave my house without makeup, lashes, extensions etc. I hid myself behind a mask I thought I needed to be accepted. But now when I go to work, I look rather normal but with my gal clothes and I think that is totally okay. And I feel good about it!!! I also feel confident when I visit my friends on the weekends in Lolita and Hime and I am so proud that I was able to come so far.

I found my way and it is good. If I want to wear casual, I'll wear it and if I want to wear my big hime hair, I'll wear it! I don´t care what other think about it. The most important thing is that I'm feeling good and there's nothing wrong with that!


Alina/ SuiPrincess